By Kivi Neimi
Every January, we are assailed with articles about resolutions, “new” trendy resolutions, weight loss resolutions, quitting just about anything that is perceived as a “bad habit” resolutions, anything that could be seen as a “lifestyle change” resolutions. It seems that people “resolve” to do all sorts of things.
Eat better, exercise more, read more, eat out less, see more art, travel more, etc.
February is the month for dropping said resolutions from your life. And if you made it to February without quitting on your resolution, congratulations! The second Friday in January is called “Quitter’s Day” because research shows that many people (some 80%) abandon their resolutions by then.
I am not a New Year’s resolution person. If resolutions stress you out or make you feel bad about yourself, don’t do them. That isn’t what positive life changes are about. Resolutions, per se, aren’t bad; most are intended to improve our lives, so why are they so stressful and anxiety-ridden for so many people?
Pressure to be perfect
Even within our busy lives, most of us want to make space for positive goals and changes. But there are reasons we have not added 5 a.m. gym workouts, changed our eating habits, or even gotten 8 hours of sleep a night. These changes shift our lives away from known patterns and challenge us to move through the world in new, uncomfortable ways while our bodies adjust to waking up earlier, scheduling food prep, and trying to sleep when we aren’t tired.
With our busy lives, trying to do everything while tired or sore or just feeling “off” is frustrating, so we frequently revert to our old schedules, eating habits, etc.
Society does this to us every year and very few people ask, “Why do it?” If it doesn’t work or what is missing so a resolution could work?
Realism is missing from the conversation about life changes (resolutions). If you want to make changes to your life, “realistic” should be your key:
- Realistic expectations.
- Realistic goals.
- Realistic views of your life and time.
Ask yourself these questions about the changes you want to make in your life:
- What is your motivation?
- Why do you want to make this change?
- How are you going to maintain your motivation?
Motivation is different for everyone. List makers can motivate just by clicking something off a list. Some people are achievement-based and will continue the process if they have a goal they are working toward.
Other people are group-motivated or accountability-motivated. These people do best when a group shares a goal and have team members to assist in motivation when they are having a bad day or lack enthusiasm for the goal.
If you want to change your lifestyle, examine what you want to accomplish. Why do you want to do this?
Is this a goal you are passionate about, or is it something others want from you or do you feel social/societal pressure to pursue this change?
Set yourself up to succeed
Setting absolutes isn’t attainable. Setting a goal of going to the gym every day isn’t realistic; however, an alternative of going to the gym three or five days a week might be. What actually fits into your life?
Be gentle with yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and change doesn’t happen overnight. Remember, small changes can be just as effective in the long run.
Do what works for you and your mental health. Not what gets clicks.